2016 Pilgrimage to the Republican National Convention and Democratic National Convention

“The Curious End to the War Against Ourselves” will be the title of the Scroll that I will paint and draw on at the Republican and Democratic National Conventions in July.

I was reported to be a calm within the storm when I painted en plein-air at both the political conventions in 2012.  

This year I’m on a pilgrimage in search of a way for us to stop fighting inside ourselves and outside ourselves. 

Here’s what I’m going to say on my hand out: 

I hope you are at peace with yourself and those around you.  

I am not.  

I would like to be.  

I want to be calm, creative, compassionate.  

Open to beauty.

I try to be curious, not furious.  

As I paint and draw on this scroll I'm looking at you and all the people here.  

I see the beauty in your gestures and forms. 

I wonder if you are like me--at war with yourselves and others.  

Why make a scroll?

Because it's ancient and slow.  It’s so different than a cell phone. It calls for reverence.

“The Curious End to the War Against Ourselves” is an important story.  It deserves an epic format.

How am I at war with myself?

Do you have an inner critic?,  I have one.  It's the critical voice inside my head that says things like 'You're no good. This is stupid. You're gonna mess up. You don't know what you're talking about. . .’

I have another voice that tries to fight the inner critic. It says things like, 'Be quiet. Get out of here. Shut up...'

These voices fight with each other a lot.  I get very tired of their conflict.

You could say that I am at war with myself .

These voices quiet down when I am kind and curious. Then I realize that they both mean well. Both of them are just trying to take good care of me.

How am I at war with others?

Have you ever judged anybody who disagrees with you?  I have. 

The critical voice inside my mind says things like: 'They don't know what they are talking about. They are stupid, wimpy, misguided, too emotional, too intellectual, too streetwise. Their race, religion, political party, beliefs, culture are bad. They hate me.'

When this voice is in charge I feel hostile and superior and afraid and threatened. I can get into arguments that escalate into more separation and aggression. The people I'm judging, judge me in return. We all dig in our heals and we get nowhere. Dang!

If I can find a way to be curious and creative and calm, then something can open up and I can see that all of us are just trying to take good care of ourselves as best we can. When I do this other people sometimes perceive my shift, and they can feel safe enough to stop blaming. Then we can be curious together. We have a chance, then, to find solutions that might work.

Why make art in the midst of conflict?

Making art can calm us down. The feeling of painting, drawing, sculpting helps us be in our bodies and we can relax into a mindset of curiosity.  We pay attention to what our bodies know, instead of what our critical voices are saying.

We can discern instead of judge, evaluate instead of fight, experiment instead of needing to be right.